changes! -Journal purposes-

Well the title explains it all...... This last couple of years have been the hardest times for us and I feel like we have made it through all of that and now we can make it through anything and I truly mean that :) for the past year we lived in the basement of my in-laws and I am so grateful we had them to fall on and help us when we needed it most and a place for us to go they have no idea how grateful we really are, It all started when Nate sold Utahwisp his successful internet company now I was hesitant mainly because it was our main income and a few months before that we had moved into a much bigger home with a much bigger house payment than our last one and we needed to bring in enough money to cover all those things..... Well we went ahead with the sale and made a quite large profit from it and I thought yes we will have plenty to live on while Nate finds a job well he decided to go ahead and invest in another company and start doing real-estate..... Well this is not intended to offend anyone and it's my own personal opinion, The company itself is a great and quite large company even to this day but the only problem I had with it is the money you have to invest and put down in order to do it and I am not talking about a little pocket change it was a very Large amount of money and I had my doubts and really at first didn't want to do it but after we heard all these stories about how amazing it is and how much Money we could make and how much money all of these other people make we were strung in and I admit even I got greedy and wanted a piece of the action all I. Could think was we could make so much money we wouldn't have to worry about anything again finically......
well Money is good and it can be bad if you let it be that way and Nate and I started to change ourselves we were living like everybody told us to the way we dressed wasn't good enough anymore Nate had to go out and spend hundreds of dollars on new suits and clothes to fit in at these meetings he had to get his car new rims and spend all sorts of money there basically it was made to uphold an image of everyone involved in this company so people looking into it would think wow they are doing really well for themselves now that i think about it all I can say if you have to change or someone makes you feel like you have to change or you have to buy your way into a company it is No Good at least not for us ever again..... Needless to say it didn't exactly work out and things got bad so we left with a few other guys to go on to something else we thought would be good this is where the next story comes in,

Next we decided hey let's go and buy in to another company where we would be based in MaryLand yes I said buy into another company as if we didn't learn the first time around, well we ended at least the first time making back what we put into it and that's about it, This next time we ended up losing everything because we sold the house we were living in that we put 14 thousand dollars down on and walking away with only 1 thousand dollars and after we fixed it all up as well it was so sad well to make matters worse after Nate left me and the kids and took everything to MaryLand with him it ended up not working out and people we trusted basically screwed us over and we once again lost everything all of our money, we had nothing no job no home and no money and I was bitter very bitter for a long time because I never felt good about any of these things even the first time I did get greedy and let the idea of lots of money get to me, but I never ever wanted to go to MaryLand and I never felt good about it I would pray about it and got the same feeling about it every time and Nate was to blinded by the possibility of this company and finally getting his ticket and way out of Utah to see this or hear me....
he has since learned to communicate and listen to my instincts :) and I have learned to let the past be the past and move forward because it almost destroyed our family.......
Now Nate has successfully started GotMac and it is doing Great and amazing and He is the most determined person ever he couldn't find a job so he created one to support The family. has this been easy, No it has been a long tough road and I am grateful we stuck it out and stayed by each others side through it all he is doing really well and are we Millionaires? nope and we probably will never be we live in a small home just big enough for our family but we love it... will we ever have a Huge home? Well we might be able to someday do I want a huge home? Nope because I am happier now than I ever was before and we have less now funny how that works, it just makes the point true Money and worldly things are temporary and they don't bring true happiness is it nice to have things and go on vacations? Absolutely and will I still do these things of course but I now know what is important and what is not and what I can go without! Now the title "changes" was meant simply in the terms that we moved out finally to Clinton and I am still getting used to it and not being in my familiar area and around family or friends but I live by one of my best friends ever Maria which has been since Kindergarten.... so that is exciting and we started a Bunco group I am super excited about this... Anyways
I need to say Nate you are the best ever and I have loved you since the day I saw you ok maybe not the day I saw you but I always knew in my mind somewhere that we would end up together And at the age of 15 and you 17 how would we know that? Well I just did..... (really ask Maria she can tell you some stories... LOL) I am so proud of you going back to finish school even though it isn't easy and it's going to be a long road I am so happy and you truly make me so grateful everyday for you and all you do for me and the kids you are our best friend and we wouldn't laugh half as much without you here..... And even though I can not help out finically right now (because I would lose my daughters disability bennefits which is needed for all of her Dr appt and needs and there is no way we could afford them without it) But I am grateful again for you taking those steps and hard ones to provide for us you are without a doubt a fighter and you never give up or let anything get you down....
Love you so much! Oh and thanks for putting up with me too and all my craziness at times :)

Robbed and Biting.... (Sigh)

Ok So this last week was Crazy.... Nate's office was broken into and Thousands of Dollars worth of stuff Stolen :( Now it was not only Got Mac's Inventory of computers and Lap Tops stolen it was Customers Computer's and phones that were in there shop being fixed that were stolen!
I feel like we just can't catch a break really just when things are Great and looking up something else happens to bring us back down, I can't understand why this happened and why people do these things with no Regard for anyone else! Now we do have Insurance but they are being difficult with needing every little detail and receipt (which I understand) But still it is going to be tough and a long road before we are compensated for our loses and that is a Huge blow after all the money we lost last year in Maryland! Ok I am complaining and still I know it can be worse but I don't think I can take much more.... Oh and did I mention the cops suspected Nate of this Crime of a set up basically.... WHAT? was my reaction but again they are doing there job and I am sure they have run into dishonest people like this before so they have to check out every possibility.
If it was not for Nate and my Awesome 3 kids I would have given up long ago they are truly the best things in my life :)
BITING... Forde is at it again just when I thought he had broken the habit he started up again.... He has bitten Lundyn and Kylan on her face right under her Eye any higher and Ky's Eye would have been bitten.... I am super frustrated because I have tried everything with that kid and Nothing is working he is by far my most challenging child at this age my girls were not biters when they were little and I have done almost everything people have suggested to do, and it doesn't help that despite my Frustration he is so darn cute and can melt my heart with his Big Blue eyes and Smile! -here is a pic after he was punished for biting-

This one broke my heart.... Even though I had to stay strong you cant let this face fool you!
See my problem I feel so bad after and he does always say sorry and give his sisters hugs, If only that would last...
Until my next post-

Summer 2010

Well I know once again time seems to have slipped away from me.... But we have had an Ok Summer I mean don't get me wrong I love the heat and swimming ect. But it has been a rough one between Forde being a typical 2 year old with his screaming tantrums and Lundyn on her new meds and new Leg Braces again she is having a tough time even making it half way through the day most days.....
Life is good though and every time I complain I have to stop myself and be Thankful for all that I have been blessed with and that I have a great Husband and Kids and so many friends and family who love us and help us! Things can always be worse and it isn't always easy to see that in the moment but it is true! One of the fun things we have done lately is go on a tour of the Conference center in Salt Lake city, It was awesome to take the kids to see where the Prophet talks to all of us and to feel that spirit!
And we have been going to the park and walking by Hob's Pond nearly everyday well that is until I broke my Toe..... And it hurts so bad! Kylan has been playing with her friends tons and well most days are spent Outside playing and the kids love to get dirty :)
Here are some pic's from the recent happenings of summer!!!

The Huge painting in the conference center!
The Roof and view of the Temple!
We went to Krispie Kream with the kids one night and th next pic says it all about Forde!

And then there is this pic from the zoo and Obviously you can tell Ky is unhappy! hahaha


Hanging with Cousin Matt playing his Guitar!

Pine View! Forde is super scared of the Lake... He loves to swim in a pool or sprinklers but the lake he wont go near just the sand :)
Lundyn and Ky at PCH right before Lundyn got her Botox she was very happy before but not so much after...... I should have gotten an after pic.... And that's all for now until I download our 24th of July pic's!

Family :-)

I Love my Family more than anything.... And these pic's show just that!
Steph from Auburn Soul took these back in march for us and they turned out great
She is amazing at what she does and she is a great Sis in Law too :)
I only wish she lived in Utah but if you are interested I know she is planning a trip up this way in July and August I am not sure on openings but you can send her a message...
Her website info
www.auburnsoulphotography.com/ Check it out to see more of these and other great shoots she has done!

Forde turns 2!

Can you believe he went from this adorable baby.... to this handsome little guy.....

Yes it is True Forde turned 2..... Can you believe it? I know I cant where does the time go..... He has been such a joy to have in our family and is so funny and he is definitely at that terrible 2 stage, He screams all the time when he is mad or doesn't get his way, He hates sharing and he likes taking toys from others :( yes we are having a rough patch with him but he is so dang cute I mean just look at his face and those big Blue eyes! And yes everyone wait for it he still has his Binky..... Now I know what you are all thinking and I know I should have taken it away a long time ago but I have had no desire to hear him all night crying and well I think because he is my baby still and my last that I have kind of just let him have it still, But this is the week that the Binky Fairy will come down and swoop up all his favorite Binkys and whisk them away!!!!

I will keep you all posted on how this goes but I figure with all his tantrums and screaming anyways why not just add to that and get this out of the way too..... And he can still have his Blanky which he takes every where and cant sleep without...... What can I say I have babied him a little to much and he is now such a momma's boy, And Nate thinks he is wimpy and is going to grow up to be a softy, But I think he will toughen up once I put him in sports...... I hope!

Well Happy Birthday Forde we all love you so so much!

Yes he is naked well except shoes.... He had gotten all dirty and i had to take clothes off him which is when he decided his diaper was no good since it was really wet!

This is the master piece Nate and I came up with when the cake stuck to the pan and it didn't come out in the Race Car cake I was hoping for... But we made it work and it was oh so yummy!

This is one of his fav toy's and he could lay on the floor for hours playing with cars or anything with wheels on it!

This was his first Halloween when he was Elvis.... I still think this was the best costume ever so I had to add this in!

St. Patricks day, Easter and more :)

I know I am yet again a little behind but what can I say I am a Mommy and I have kids :) Well these past 2 months have flown by we have had lots of fun times and enjoyed the holidays with friends and family! Last Saturday my sister and I raised money and participated again in the Walk to find a cure for MS, It was the perfect day and our families came out to show there Support and walk with us I would like to thank all of you who supported me and donated to this great cause... It holds a special place in my heart since my Mom has MS and I see first hand how it affects her....
The kids are doing great and having tons of fun especially with this great weather!
Kylan: Ky is such a great little girl I could not have asked for a better daughter she is so funny, Right now we are practicing her Princess part for her school play and she has been really in to collecting bugs lately (don't ask me why) She is doing great in school and loves to talk and be Social.... Oh and she starts SoftBall in May she does Soccer but this is her first year doing this so we will see how it goes.....

Lundyn: My little Lundy Loo is Amazing as you all know she is doing Great in school and she is learning so many things she knows all her letters when she sees them she can read words you write some at least and she can Sign all of her colors... Even though she cant speak she is one smart cookie and she knows it :-)

Forde: Well my baby boy is not so much my baby anymore he is going to be 2 next week and I can hardly believe it he is dang cute and funny,Oh and he has hit the terrible 2's a little early but all in all he is great and is all boy very rough and loves to be outside in dirt and play with his cars all Day!

Nate: My awesome Husband is doing wonderful as well his business is taking off to be a lot bigger than even I thought it would and he is such a great worker and with out him I would not be able to be a stay at home Mom so for that I am Grateful :) Oh and we just had our 9 Year anniversary.... Yay I cant believe it has been that long.... Still the best decision I ever made!

Me: I am also hanging in there helping out at the kids schools taking Forde out to play with friends and spending time with some friends and other Mommies... Trust me when you are a Mom and have kids you need that really you do, I am trying to figure out what I want to do I love being a Mom but there are other things I also want to do I really want to go back to school and I cant figure out what I want to do I really want to do Culinary School but the hours are to many its mon-fri and I cant swing it with Forde and if I do night classes than I am gone when the girls get home and I hate missing out on anything with my kiddo's..... Then I kinda want to go to Weber and just get started and maybe take a few classes here and there until Forde is in school and I know what I want to do I want to a Counselor I want to work with kids who have Drug and Alcohol addictions (this is something that is also very close to my heart since I am a recovering drug addict my self and lived in a rehab in Salt Lake city which is where I found myself and who I really am that place and those counselors saved my life well and my great family to which I could never repay, and for that reason I have this passion to do the same for others but am still so undecided about it because of how long it would take me to get there... and lets face I am not getting any younger :) So if any of you out thereare Mommies and have gone to school where did you go and how was it and any advice???
Ok ok I know you are all dying to see some pic's of my awesome fam so here goes:

St. Patricks Day!



Lundyn eating all by herself and doing a very good job.... Oh they grow up fast:(



Dont ask me why Forde likes me to wrap him up and let the girls hold him.... LOL kinda funny
Here is Forde and his buddy Bastian!
Forde getting into my stash of circus peanuts...... LOL


MS walk.....


Ok and my kids in there Easter outfits and all that good stuff is not downloaded to my computer yet so I will post those soon :) Thanks all for checking out my post!

I love To see the TemPle!

This last week Steph has been in town and we took the kids to see the Ogden Temple and we walked around the temple and took pic's but they got deleted for some reason :( But anyways Ky is so interested in the Temple and keeps saying she cant wait to go there and how she loves to see the Temple!
Well I am sad to say it had been a long while since I have been to the temple myself Years infact and I have been wanting to make it back there so bad but I just get busy in life and I will be honest had zero desire to take the time to get my recommend from my bishop and actually go to the temple... and lately things seem like they have been missing in my life I feel like there is another purpose for me and I love being a Mom I just haven't found anything I am passionate about and I have been struggling alot just with everyday things and have been kind of un happy with things, and I feel like I am lacking also in being a good Mom I almost dread sometimes getting up in the morning... I finally decided it was time for me to take that step and get my recommend and I went to the temple last night with Steph and Nates Mom and let me just tell you it was AMAZING! I have not felt like this in I cant remember how long, On the way to the temple I had so many things running through my mind like kids homework and all the things I needed to do this week and everything that was going on that week.... And then it happened I went through those doors to the Temple and it hit me like a ton of Bricks The spirit that is I couldn't even remember what I had been just thinking about all I knew was that this feeling was the best feeling in the world and I was utterly happy, Happier than I have been in soooo Long.
And all the things I have been stressing about and with were gone even after I left I had the answers I had been looking for and I knew things were going to be ok and great even!
Steph and I made a goal to go to the temple once a month atleast and write down the dates we go and when she comes up again we can talk about it.... I am so grateful to you Steph you are just like my own sister and I really think you came up at the right time for me atleast because I needed a little push and you may not even know that you did anything at all but you did more than you know you are a great example to me and I am going to miss you so much when you are gone :( I also need to say how much I love my husband Nate, He is amazing and is such a great guy, Husband and Daddy, He is friend to everyone and people just seem to gravitate towards him he definitely has a gift and he may not always know this but I see it every time I look at that man he is my best friend and my soul mate and I am so happy I can be with him forever time and all eternity.... and I just need to also say how grateful I am to be LDS and I know without a doubt in my mind this is the one and only true church..... what can I say I am feeling very happy and blessed right now!!!!!!

one of those days......

Do you ever wake up in the morning and just think today is going to be a good day and then something happens to tell you otherwise.... Well Today was one of Those Days, I left my Iphone on the back of the car this morning, I didn't realize it until I go to Ky's school and by that time well you know the rest..... Luckily Nate found my phone so I have my Sim card and all my info.... Unfortunately From what he says my phone is in pretty bad shape :( ....I haven't seen it yet because he is at work with it...... And yes he wasn't very happy about the whole thing.... Which most husbands would not be, Ladies we all know how men can be sometimes when we do something wrong its the end of the world but when they do it is simply a small minor mistake....
I have been so stressed out lately that I keep doing Stupid things I lose my purse and Phone constantly.... I have the whole family to vouch for this..... I cant even count how many times now, Then all within the month of January I ran into another ladies car at a stop light not to much damage to hers but alot to the front of mine, whole side dented in light busted out hood bent up...
Then a week after I ran in Haleys car (sis in law) backing out of driveway, Again not to bad for hers knocked her mirror off very easy fix, But mine a huge long scrape down the entire side of my car..... Hmmmm ok yes that's not the end about a week after that I was backing up again and hit Nates truck and his whole front end was dented and smashed in.... and let me tell you how happy he was about that.
and then I have had strep 3 times in 2 months and right now is the longest I have gone now without getting it again and I am starting to get a soar throat..... Seriously what next!
I am going to just hope and pray things start to look up from this point on because really how much more can happen..... My Venting is over now :-)
On the up side of all this Steph is in town and the kids are loving having there cousins to play with and my kids are so awesome they are happy and healthy and what more could a Mom ask for... With out them I really dont know what I would do..... Because inspite of all the things going wrong they manage to everyday make me smile and laugh.....

M.S. WALK!!!

Support me in the walk to find a cure for MS...... Any donation no matter how big or small is appreciated, Lets work together to find a cure for my MOM and all the other people out there suffering from this. To donate either go to my Face Book account and on my profile there is a link or email me at lori@utahwisp.com and I will send the page and info on how to send in donations or do it online :) I really would appreciate any support you can or are willing to give... This walk is awesome I did last year with my sister and we are going to do it again, I really have a special place in my heart for all those people out there who have MS especially since I see first hand with my Mom having it the affects it can have. Every little bit helps even $5.00 can make a difference.....
Thanks so much!

Oh My Gosh! Ahhhhhh

Ok you all know how obsessed I am with the Deadliest Catch I mean I love this show more than anything I dont know why I like it so much there is just something about it, and I have always wanted to go to Alaska and meet the Fishermen on the show, I mean it would be so awesome...
Well there is a cruise coming up in July where you can go and meet some of the cast from the show its a Caribbean Cruise and I want to go more than anything... It would be so Amazing I know its Very Pricey and A lot of Planning but This is a Dream Come True LOL.... Nate thinks I am Nuts! I told him this is what I want for my Birthday and Christmas this year Combined.... Lets hope our Tax Returns our good to us this year :)
Here is the link if any of you out there are devoted fans and would also like this exciting opportunity to go....

http://deadliestreports.wordpress.com/2009/04/19/2010-deadliest-catch-fan-cruise-...