Friday, September 17, 2010

changes! -Journal purposes-

Well the title explains it all...... This last couple of years have been the hardest times for us and I feel like we have made it through all of that and now we can make it through anything and I truly mean that :) for the past year we lived in the basement of my in-laws and I am so grateful we had them to fall on and help us when we needed it most and a place for us to go they have no idea how grateful we really are, It all started when Nate sold Utahwisp his successful internet company now I was hesitant mainly because it was our main income and a few months before that we had moved into a much bigger home with a much bigger house payment than our last one and we needed to bring in enough money to cover all those things..... Well we went ahead with the sale and made a quite large profit from it and I thought yes we will have plenty to live on while Nate finds a job well he decided to go ahead and invest in another company and start doing real-estate..... Well this is not intended to offend anyone and it's my own personal opinion, The company itself is a great and quite large company even to this day but the only problem I had with it is the money you have to invest and put down in order to do it and I am not talking about a little pocket change it was a very Large amount of money and I had my doubts and really at first didn't want to do it but after we heard all these stories about how amazing it is and how much Money we could make and how much money all of these other people make we were strung in and I admit even I got greedy and wanted a piece of the action all I. Could think was we could make so much money we wouldn't have to worry about anything again finically......
well Money is good and it can be bad if you let it be that way and Nate and I started to change ourselves we were living like everybody told us to the way we dressed wasn't good enough anymore Nate had to go out and spend hundreds of dollars on new suits and clothes to fit in at these meetings he had to get his car new rims and spend all sorts of money there basically it was made to uphold an image of everyone involved in this company so people looking into it would think wow they are doing really well for themselves now that i think about it all I can say if you have to change or someone makes you feel like you have to change or you have to buy your way into a company it is No Good at least not for us ever again..... Needless to say it didn't exactly work out and things got bad so we left with a few other guys to go on to something else we thought would be good this is where the next story comes in,

Next we decided hey let's go and buy in to another company where we would be based in MaryLand yes I said buy into another company as if we didn't learn the first time around, well we ended at least the first time making back what we put into it and that's about it, This next time we ended up losing everything because we sold the house we were living in that we put 14 thousand dollars down on and walking away with only 1 thousand dollars and after we fixed it all up as well it was so sad well to make matters worse after Nate left me and the kids and took everything to MaryLand with him it ended up not working out and people we trusted basically screwed us over and we once again lost everything all of our money, we had nothing no job no home and no money and I was bitter very bitter for a long time because I never felt good about any of these things even the first time I did get greedy and let the idea of lots of money get to me, but I never ever wanted to go to MaryLand and I never felt good about it I would pray about it and got the same feeling about it every time and Nate was to blinded by the possibility of this company and finally getting his ticket and way out of Utah to see this or hear me....
he has since learned to communicate and listen to my instincts :) and I have learned to let the past be the past and move forward because it almost destroyed our family.......
Now Nate has successfully started GotMac and it is doing Great and amazing and He is the most determined person ever he couldn't find a job so he created one to support The family. has this been easy, No it has been a long tough road and I am grateful we stuck it out and stayed by each others side through it all he is doing really well and are we Millionaires? nope and we probably will never be we live in a small home just big enough for our family but we love it... will we ever have a Huge home? Well we might be able to someday do I want a huge home? Nope because I am happier now than I ever was before and we have less now funny how that works, it just makes the point true Money and worldly things are temporary and they don't bring true happiness is it nice to have things and go on vacations? Absolutely and will I still do these things of course but I now know what is important and what is not and what I can go without! Now the title "changes" was meant simply in the terms that we moved out finally to Clinton and I am still getting used to it and not being in my familiar area and around family or friends but I live by one of my best friends ever Maria which has been since Kindergarten.... so that is exciting and we started a Bunco group I am super excited about this... Anyways
I need to say Nate you are the best ever and I have loved you since the day I saw you ok maybe not the day I saw you but I always knew in my mind somewhere that we would end up together And at the age of 15 and you 17 how would we know that? Well I just did..... (really ask Maria she can tell you some stories... LOL) I am so proud of you going back to finish school even though it isn't easy and it's going to be a long road I am so happy and you truly make me so grateful everyday for you and all you do for me and the kids you are our best friend and we wouldn't laugh half as much without you here..... And even though I can not help out finically right now (because I would lose my daughters disability bennefits which is needed for all of her Dr appt and needs and there is no way we could afford them without it) But I am grateful again for you taking those steps and hard ones to provide for us you are without a doubt a fighter and you never give up or let anything get you down....
Love you so much! Oh and thanks for putting up with me too and all my craziness at times :)